UCCMR, SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA: Children quivered with fear earlier today after a shocking occurrence at an elementary school in Santa Cruz, California.
Officials, who declined to name the school, said a horrific event presented itself at a pumpkin-carving contest. A little girl, 6-year-old Lulu Milovitcha, was the victim in what researchers called a mermaid attack.
A local farm, Quarter Moon Growers, provided the school with 50 pumpkins for the contest. Milovitcha had not even started carving the orange vegetable when terror struck.
Just as Milovitcha was about to pierce the rind, razor-sharp teeth punctured the pumpkin from within. The teeth, protruding further by the second, split the fruit in half as Milovitcha shrieked in horror.
Curled up inside the orange mess was a black, barnacle-covered mermaid with 3-inch fangs.
The small creature used its flippers to jump onto Milovitcha, who screamed as the mermaid tangled itself in her curly red hair. A nearby parent came to the aid of Milovitcha and used plastic craft scissors to cut away the tangled mermaid.
The parent, a Mrs. Peggy Shamrock, tossed the mermaid into a snow-cone machine. The creature hissed and howled until pulled into a mixing attachment, upon which Shamrock watched as a scarlet snow-cone poured into a paper cup.
With the mermaid destroyed, Shamrock called UCCMR Crime Scene Researchers, who arrived on site within 15 minutes. Both eight-year-old Lulu Milovitcha and Peggy Shamrock avoided injury.
Lawyers for Milovitcha’s family are filing lawsuits against Quarter Moon Growers, whose farms span 80 seaside acres.
October 21, 2008 at 3:27 pm |
I don’t know if I’m saddened or enraged by this horrific event. What a travesty to say little Lulu “avoided injury”. Doubtless, she is doomed to years of psychic terror that will be expensive to combat. This could have been avoided if the students were allowed to defend themselves. The schools should not only allow everyone to carry firearms but should offer rigorous training in their use. Otherwise, these tangles will surely continue to curtail our freedoms.